jewishraypalmer:

so since we know that mistress, the lady in charge of the time bureau, is a knockoff sara (strong, blonde, hbic), i invite you to consider; the WHOLE time bureau is a knockoff team legends.

so the kicker is they’re the exact same people looks and intelligence wise and they have the same skills but,,, the time bureau is more serious so rip gives a plan and they’re all like “yessir, will do sir”
rip: you’re not going to… argue with me?
fake mick: why would we do that sir? i don’t like arguing
fake stein: you clearly know best
rip: …. holy shit

so i offer to u the legends meeting the time bureau for the first time and it’s like,,, less chaotic than rip thinks it will be. like sara and mistress after having an intimidation stare off are, in the words of the great caity lotz, kinda like “i see you. i respect you. you’re kinda hot” ray had attached himself to his doppelgänger bc he’s like “better than the twin i had!!! time for a redo!!” and the other man feels so bad for him that fake ray (his name is eustace but they call him stace don’t ask why) is just like “yea yeah ok buddy we can be brothers” pat pat it’s great

jax and fake jax are like…. already partying they’re like “holy shit let’s get away from the old people” and poof they’re gone. stein and fake stein are comparing notes and the amayas and nates are planning a double date. mick has opened a six pack and fake mick can’t resist beer so now they’re drinking buddies. there’s even a fake kendra who’s like “hey um… where am i” and ray and sara simultaneously burst into tears. rip has never wanted to die more because now his team and his ex team are best friends. oh god. what is he going to do.

the only person who’s like, not chill, is gideon bc she was very adamantly of the persuasion “captain hunter will come back, i mean for me he couldn’t care less about the rest of you but he cares about me” until she meets the new ai and immediately decided to forget rip ever existed. the new ai is named something spacey like terrinia or some shit and isn’t sentient but gideon does care so when the teams are working together
rip: gideon,
gideon: i’m sorry, is someone talking to me?
sara: it’s rip gideon
gideon: i’m sorry this man isn’t relevant to the timeline and therefore i do not recognize him
rip: she’s noT EVEN SENTIENT GIDEON
gideon: THAT’S DISRESPECTFUL SHE’S MY SISTER AND DESERVES BETTER THAN A TWO-TIMER LIKE YOU

rip is crying in a corner mostly
ghost len: taking the missus to meet the ex huh rip realllll classy
rip: i am not married to my teams mr. snart
ghost len: no i’m talking about the robot. i heard u kissed her rip. did you fuck her too. did ya fuck her. did ya fuc
rip: shut up shut up SHUT UP